I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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