Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
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well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
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Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
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