she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
