So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
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Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
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You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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