Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
