Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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