so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
