my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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