"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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