All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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