We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
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She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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