How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
im six kinds of drunk right now
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
