I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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