I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
