i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
