Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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