I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
