dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
