a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
