Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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