Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
