He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
