loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
