3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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