That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just pee around me
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
