hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
