I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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