I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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