You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
