i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
