so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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