i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
