i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
