So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
