Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
