I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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