Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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