There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Quick, to the slutcave!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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