Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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