"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
