Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.