I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I understand Curling. That high.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything