I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
