drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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