Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
