And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
