Tell her she can't have a vagina
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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