how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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