1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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