we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
