Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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