it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
All I want is dick and wine.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
