the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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