but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
