he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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