i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
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Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
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I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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