I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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